It has been about a week since I last wrote. I was feeling incredibly discouraged and totally out of control. I was excited that Colleen pushed me to get to a meeting that Tuesday that I was really struggling but it still didn't seem to do as much as I had hoped. I still struggled to track my points; furthermore, I had more than enough "splurge meals" while I was feeling under the weather.
To my surprise, when I hopped on the scale on Saturday, I saw that I had lost .2 pounds. For many, that would hardly be an accomplishment; however, for me, it felt like a great defeat. Before jumping on the scale I was more than confident that I had gained all the weight that I had lost back. Mentally, I knew I had screwed up and still showed up on Saturday to face my fear... the scale. I was happy that the scale had not disappointed me, especially because that meant that I hadn't disappointed me. I knew that I hadn't made all the best choices for food while I was sick, but I also knew that I hadn't made all the wrong choices. Instead of a milk shake to sooth my throat, I would have a smoothie, etc.
With Saturday's weigh in behind me, and my typical Satur-date plans with Colleen and baby Isa, I was back on track. We went to lunch at Paul Martin's (Pablo Martinez as my mother calls it) to grub and visit with Benny. I ordered what sounded good, tracked every last bite, and asked the server to remove the plate with half of the freedom fries (are we still calling them that?) remaining so that I would not consume anymore.
Since Saturday, I have tracked tracked tracked! The mind of being a weight watcher has taken over again and that is where I'd like it to stay. I know that this road is not going to be easy. Recently was my first set back of many. But the fact is, this time, when I have a set back, I am vowing to myself to make sure I return and get back on track. In the past, when I would fail, I would quit.
A while back, my mother told me something that one of her leaders had told her at a meeting. She used a vehicle as an analogy to weight loss. She said, if you were to scratch up your car, what would you do? Would you decide that the car was completely ruined over a few scratches and continue to trash the car by taking a sledge hammer to it, run it into a brick wall, etc.? Or, would you realize that it was just a scratch and work to repair it and move forward?
Just because I have a set back or two (or three or four), doesn't mean I have to ruin my whole journey. I need to patch the scratches and move on. So to my future scratches, prepare to be patched, because I refuse to take a sledge hammer to myself one more time!
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