To say the last 3+ months have been horrific, is likely an understatement of great magnitude. Shortly after I lost my aunt in her battle against breast cancer, I rushed myself to the ER to learn that I had a significantly large kidney stone in my body... and that is where the shit hit the fan. I will leave out the gory details as I am sure you are uninterested and I am tired of talking about it and living through it; however, the short version is I have had 2 significant surgeries, 3 minor surgical procedures, and the most horrific and long lasting pain that you can ever imagine. Having said all of this, my life's quality had plummeted through the tubes. I began to eat my pain away... and then I ate some more, and more after that. I also wasn't physically able to go to the gym as I had been so faithfully going for quite some time; hell, some days I could hardly walk to the toilet.
Thursday afternoon marked the true beginning of my recovery, after my stint was removed. I am so excited, no, I am elated. I can't wait to feel fully recovered and get back to my life as I knew it. Working 40+ hours spoiling my boys at the office rotten, stressing about work and life, working out, eating healthy, scrapbooking, hanging with friends, etc.
Having said all of this, today I spent the day doing what I would have done before the shit storm began. I woke up this morning, went to weight watchers, met up with and worked my ass off with my trainer, came home and cleaned up, got my hair colored (just in time for Heather's wedding), ran home and baked some yummy treats, and then headed to Colleen's for a dinner party with some wonderful friends.
This morning it felt like I was reclaiming my life back. I had felt so out of control over my own destiny due to my circumstances these past few months. While I was trying to make the best of things, it is hard to do with so much pain, discomfort, and physical restrictions. Did I push myself too hard today? MOST DEFINITELY. Am I paying for it now with horrible pain in my right kidney. ABSOLUTELY. But did I enjoy myself all day and the reminder of how wonderful the simplest things in my life are? YES!!
Today marks a new day in my life. Today I said FUCK YOU to the kidney stone that has been my painful demise the last 3+ months. Today I reminded myself that it is okay to fall, especially when the circumstances are completely out of your own control. Today is symbolic for the fact that Life Happens. Sometimes life gets in your own way and ruins your current plan. However, at some point, you have to look at life and say, okay... enough already, lets keep it moving.
So, I hope to continue on this road of recovery and continue living the simple, yet wonderful life that I have created for myself. I would not have been able to get through the last 3 months without the love and support of my family and friends. These people know how hard it is for me to ask for help, and I have sure HAD to ask for a great deal of help these past few months. I know I have said it before and I'll say it again and again... THANK YOU. Thanks for your support. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being you. Thanks for taking me to appointments. Thanks for holding my hand when I was scared. Thanks for caring enough to continually check on me to make sure I was still kicking. Thanks for your compassion. I could go on forever, but basically, thank you for helping to save my life. Without all of you, I honestly don't think I would have made it through this.
I suppose I should end this blog entry now before I continue to ramble on and on. Cheers to reclaiming my life. Here's to the return to my blog, weight watchers, and the gym. I have a lot of work to do... but I'm still fighting and will get there EVENTUALLY, regardless of what happens in my life.
xoxo
m
Listening to:
Andy Grammer - Keep Your Head Up
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