still no us

you're back in my life

we act as more than friends

but you remind me we are just that

i'm hopeful for more

we plan a trip for you

to come spend some time with me

i am so excited, i just want answers

where do we stand?

you come to see me

you treat me like i'm yours

you ask me to be yours

i cautiously and nervously accept

we have fun all weekend

like we did in our past

but before you leave, you say "i cant"

"i cant be an us, i cant do it"

like a slap in the face, i am stunned

i thought we wanted the same thing

you say you want me but you cant

but when you want something, don't you make it happen?

yet... i knew it was coming

the last 24 hours things had been off

i tried to bring it up a few times

you acted like you didn't know what i was talking about

more wasted time

when this time is so valuable to me

i don't know when i'll see you again

when we'll be able to spend time like this together again

you finally man up and admit it

you made a mistake, you shouldn't have asked

makes me feel like i'm the mistake

what is so wrong with me that i'm not worth the commitment?

you keep saying you didn't say you don't want me

but then why cant we at least try?

it makes me feel those feelings again

unlovable, undeserving, unwanted, worthless

will a man ever love me?

just me, right here, as i am?

i think i deserve to be loved

i have so much love to give

i'm over men saying, i want you...

just not now

bad timing, wrong place

will there ever be a right time?

you say you want me

but why not make the commitment?

what reason do i have to stay here?

and wait, for what?  what if it isn't ever the right time?

i fear it is just an excuse

this whole thing, about not being ready yet

i don't want to be that dumb girl

who waits just to have her heart broken again

you've destroyed my heart once before

please don't do it again

i don't deserve that, after all of this

after giving you my all

you came to see me, i just wanted answers

you leave as we started, i still lack answers

but don't worry i'm clear, there is no US

there is a you and a me, but no US

--------------------------------------------------------

i guess it was nice being your girlfriend again for 72 hours

foolish of me to think it would last much longer

was probably just the drinks that even made you ask to begin with

hopefully if you say it again, that time you wont j/k me a few days later

because that fucking sucked!