I think I caught "The Sickness"

Going forward... I am going to call my recent addiction to the gym "The Sickness" because mentally I think it is wrong to feel addicted to something so healthy like the gym.  Why cant I just be addicted to something like crack cocaine?  Sheessshhhhhh!!!

So, last week, Colleen wrote me some note suggesting (read: demanding) that I sign up for personal training sessions with her hot trainer.  

The email read:  

Hey douche face 

You need to sign up to work with your favorite hottie... 

Do it or we wont be friends anymore. 

Colleen 

ps i voted for your nail lady so you owe me

To which I responded something along the lines of:

Hey fuck wad... better get me in there before my tax refund is spent... it is going fast!

Fast forward to Saturday following our Body Pump class (read: hell with weights and perky anorexic but inspiring instructor lady) I was signing up with Hot Trainer for personal training sessions.  :)  However, I did inform Hot Trainer (yes that is his new name, HOT TRAINER) that under no circumstance would I be getting on a scale in front of him or would he be measuring the size of my big round santa clause belly.  I informed him that if he required numbers for his paperwork I weigh 102 pounds and my goal weight would be 98.  I also believe Colleen and I provided him with measurements along the lines of 20 inch waist and so on.  He asked how we would track my progress and I told him to simmer down as Weight Watchers "officially" tracks my weight and I take my own measurements in the comfort of my own home.  He then asked if he could take a before and after picture.  I informed him that if he thought he was going to post before and after pictures of me anywhere for anyone to see that he was highly mistaken.  He suggested that wouldn't I want to show off all the progress we made... at which point I informed him that any progress made would be solely MY accomplishment and that no, I need not have my fat face plastered anywhere for the world to see.  

Now that we have "Melissa's Rules" established, we can move on to more important things... like getting my ass in shape.  He asked me what my goals were and I informed him that I didn't want to die.  He looked confused.  Colleen confirmed that this was the truth.  That I don't want to die from being so unhealthy.  Good thing she speaks my language and was there to translate for Hot Trainer.  Additionally, I informed him that I would like to strengthen my core (read: lose my fat jiggly santa clause belly that is going to kill me if I don't remove ASAP).  Both of these goals were written down.  

Hot Trainer then asked me what I thought was reasonable and/or my goal for workouts at the gym... and before I knew it I blurted out "I would like to work out 5 days a week for a minimum of an hour a day!"  OH FUCK... he actually heard me and wrote that down... now I am trapped.  FML.  

Ok, so now that I have inserted foot into my mouth (story of my life), there is no turning back.  Before I can retract my statement he is jotting this stuff down on a workout calendar.  We begin to decide that Saturdays I will do the Body Pump class (oh, great!) with Colleen.  And Wednesdays will be training days with Hot Trainer (read: sweat my fat ass off and be completely mortified into feeling like I need to spend 25 hours a day at the gym to be smaller before next session).  Then Colleen proceeds to suggest that there is a Spin class on Thursday nights that we could attend.  How she got me to agree to this so willingly, I am still confused.  It was like I was drugged.  I then committed to Sundays on the Bike for an hour and Tuesdays on the elepitical for 30 minutes and the treadmill for 30 minutes.  Rounding out the week was the best thing Hot Trainer suggested yet, REST DAYS!!!!  Monday & Fridays would be rest days.

So, the concept of rest days is what brings me to this post.  Last night while updating my ACTUAL calendar of workouts to bring with me to my first personal training session with Hot Trainer, it occurred to me that I had worked out 6 days last week.  Mind you, one day was the whole Turbo Kick mishap where either the instructor or I was going to die so I left and got Chipotle for dinner.  But, regardless, the fact that I even made it to the gym 6 days in the week was a huge success.  I cant remember a time, even in my much lighter days, that I went to the gym 6 days in one week.  Go ME!!!

Being Monday, it is my rest day.  But I am really feeling guilty and lazy by the thought of not making it to the gym.  This in itself is proof that it is finally clicking mentally that eating right and working out is the way that I am going to a) lose this weight, b) get healthy, and c) live a longer life.  It has taken me a long time to get my head in the game.  (proof: See Teresa, my weight watcher leader, who has seen me rejoin weight watchers on a bi-monthly basis since I moved back up north.)  I am certain that this whole weight thing, both gaining and losing, is entirely mental.  When my head is in it to win it, I succeed.  When my head is not in it for the win, I get... Um, "squishy" (read: fat and disgusting)!  So, rest day is here and I feel guilty.  Part of me is already ready for bed before 10 am so that I can in fact rest, but another part of me feels like I am just being lazy and I should go anyways.  

I consulted with my other trainer (read: Colleen) and she insists that I take today to rest.  That my body needs time to... blah blah blah.  She lost me when she said it was okay to stay home and rest.  As long as the workout Nazi (read: Colleen) is saying it is okay, I know I won't get yelled at and that is the most important thing! ;)

So, we wrapped up Saturday's little meeting with Hot Trainer by me informing him of something that I think shocked not only Hot Trainer but also workout Nazi (read: see above).  I stated that I had already researched and determined what gym I was going to get a temporary membership to when I am away on vacation in the next month to maintain my workout schedule/plan while I vacation.  This is a first.  Yes, while on vacation, I have walked with my mom and done some light exercise, but NEVER have I joined a gym temporarily to get where I ultimately want to be.  Furthermore, I have planned what workouts I will need to rearrange and when so that I can account for travel days where I probably wont have the opportunity to workout and will need to take those as my rest days.

"The Sickness" is here and I sure hope it stays.  I have a lot of work to do but I know it will be worth it in the long run.  I deserve to be healthy.  I deserve to feel fabulous.  I deserve to love my body.  And I deserve to show Hot Trainer how fabulous I look in that damn miniskirt that has been packed away in my closet for the last few years.

Bring on the workouts Hot Trainer... 

-down 26.8 lbs

-up- mentally... in the game! o_O