my inner skinny bitch

so it has been a few days since i have blogged last.  i have thought about it.  considered it.  but just haven't had the energy to put my thoughts on paper.  this is a good thing and a bad thing.  i have really been serious about working out and making it to the gym at least 5 days a week.  not only do i make the appearance to show face but i really have been busting my hump there.  i do a minimum of an hour workout each time i go, and i have been increasing the intensity, the workouts, and the weights while weight lifting.  


people say that exercise gives you energy, which i will concur with.  but at a point, it can purely kick your ass.  for example, on friday night (my rest day from the gym) i got home from work and decided to lay down for a few minutes.  you know, kick my feet up after a long work week and some really intense workouts.  i was so spent that i just laid down on the bed with my clothes from work and turned the tv on.  within 5 minutes i had to have been snoring.  i woke up about 4 hours later, just before 10 and thought, wtf!?!  


first of all, how was i that tired?  second, how did i just sleep through a meal?  UM HELLO, I LOVE FOOD!  


i guess my body was ready for the break.  i thought for a minute that maybe i was pushing myself too much but people don't die because they exercised too frequently, the die from not exercising at all and that is what i am trying to avoid!


all of these workouts have also done something else for me.  they have made me realize that you can be athletic at any size.  before this recent dedication to fitness, when colleen and i would talk i would remind her how crazy she was for things she was suggesting i do physically because i am a bigger girl.  she reminded me that i could do those things before in my life so there was no reason i couldn't do them now.  i hate to say this, and i wont be repeating myself again any time soon, but colleen was right! :)  


i can be athletic.  not only can i be athletic but i can feel healthy because of it.  the new found natural energy and positive outlook i have had recently because of the exercise is really recharging my batteries in so many ways.  one way in particular is it has released something in me that i didn't know existing.  i have titled this "thing" my "Inner Skinny Bitch".  i have felt more confident and fit in the last few weeks than i have in years.  so much so that i am confused when i look in the mirror.  i still see the outer me (the chunky but fabulous gal) but inside i feel like a skinny bitch that can take on the fitness world!


instead of fearing the gym and possible judgments that people may make about someone of my size being there... i walk in with confidence knowing that i am going to rock my workout and no one can take that away from me.  i go in there and give it my all.  i release my stress and i sweat like a pig and i don't give a fuck!  (side note: meat heads scare me, primarily, the ones clearly steroid filled... ewww&yikes!!! all at once)


my Inner Skinny Bitch has empowered me in a way i didn't know was possible.  i never thought that some time at the gym would be so good not only for my physical health, but for my mental health!


not only is my head in the game with weight watchers, but my head is in the fitness game as well.  furthermore, i have even made plans to temporarily join a different gym when i go on vacation soon.  the fact that i am thinking that vacation and workouts go in the same paragraph, let alone the same sentence, is a freaking miracle.


really, where are the pigs with wings?


until next time
-your newly found Skinny Bitch
-29.2 lbs and counting!!!